Blah blah blah

  Crap, that's part of it anyway.  Not a good trio of days.  You know how you have a bad day or week and you just know that just around the corner, before reaching the new page, the improved story, you will feel more and more bad?  That something is bound to happen that will screw with your head just enough to think various things, including the "why me?"?  Well, this is not one of those days. The last 3 days are not like it either.  No, this is more like a huge blank.  Hmm, a chasm, a black hole only without the mass, and probably on big enough to fit me.  
Like being a nice shiny pointy, bullet.  Out of a gun, and on its way to a nice juicy tanker.  Full of, I don't know, acid?
  Three days one feeling worse than the previous one.  Nothing specificaly having happened in these three days either.  No one died.  No loss of loved ones (in all meanings), no loss of good health or money?  On day after the other like going one step after the next.  Not worrying that where it leads is probably something mildy unhappy, like say death.  No worry at all.  In fact wishing you had taken the lift.  Or to my fellow trekkies there, the turbo-lift.  Not giving a damn.  Really, not caring one bit.
  I know it is normal for anyone at one point to think of death.  Either when you are a child or much older.  We all live and die, part of who or what we are.  What worries me is not even that I wish this was a shorter trip.  What worries me is why I have reached the point of not worrying about anything, including worrying about worrying and still not care enough to worry even for that.  Funny thing, I am not worried because I would like it to change so much as because I am bored.  Not the "oh all is good but boring" kind of bored.  More like the I am tired of life, sick of everything kind of bored.  With perfect good reasoning behind it too.  Flawless logic in fact that support my less than happy thoughts.  I am not a stupid person, I am actually very clever.  Most people don't know it because I can't care enough to show any interest in most things and they take it at best as a luck of capacity at one point to if not comprehent, at least have the capacity to accept as one way or another.
  It's quite simple, if I was given the choice right now to live or die I know which I would choose.  Don't take it the wrong way though, I am not talking about committing suicide.  No, you see there is something in me, like a hunch, like a premonition that is beyond reasoning.  Yes I do appreciate the irony in it.  I am not talking about something huge like saving the world.  Something else, that just don't know.
  So, given enough good health and luck, I will stay here for a long time more than it would be perhaps logical.

I don't want to close with something as dark as the above paragraph, so I will give away a recipe.  Most of you know it already, and trust me, it is not something special.  But I do like it.

Toast of bread.
Oregano.
Salt.
Olive oil.

Make sure the slice of bread is hot, crunchy if you prefer, then add the olive oil.  About 5-10ml.  Depending on the slice of bread.  Make sure the oil is on the whole surface, add a pinch (or a tiny bit more) of oregano and some salt to make it salty, like potato crisp/chip salty.  Use a small spoon to make sure the ingredients are spread all over the bread.  Have a glass of water near you.  Eat the bread!

Till next time.  :-)

F1

I love Formula 1.   I wish there were some good new Formula 1 games for the PC or even the Xbox 360.  Anyway, this is a video that you might like.  A one lap race between a F1 , a Ferrari Modena and a Fiat model.  Guess who wins.

http://www.askmen.com/video/2007_feb/feb17_crazy_race.html

Me cheat?

As I have mentioned before, one of my favourite games is Command and Conquer Renegade.  I first started playing this game a little after it was released, back in 2002.  Online only.
For the last couple or so years kept playing by 90% to a specific server, nice guys the owners, nice guys the players.  All was great.  For a brief time I was even promoted to a moderator there.  
At one point, like a month or a bit more ago, one of the owners of the server, let's call him W1, asked me to take a test, cause he believed I was cheating.  I hardly ever played against this guy.  Anyway, I said sure, he tested me, he found me, naturaly, innocent. Since I have never cheated in a multiplayer game in my life.  After a couple of weeks, for some reason I don't know, less and less people were playing there.  In fact 99% of the time I wanted to play the game, the server was either empty or just with 2-3 people in.  So I spent my time playing the game on other servers more time than usual.  
  Earlier tonight, the same guy, was trying to get into our base.  I saw him going in the tunnels near our base, I followed him, I entered the tunnels and went downhill towards the Nod Power Plant entrance.  Hearing the Obelisk firing I knew I was going the right way.  Got out of the tunnels and trying to decide if I should go towards the power plant or the Hon, then saw an explosion from the back door of the Hon.  I run to the front door of it, entered and saw the guy, as a the Hotwire character (I was Ravenshaw) going up the internal ramp, and trying to get out of the window.  He jumped and I shot him, he had lots of damage and I hit him with my gun, he died.  He started saying that I cheat, that he knows that I cheat.  That he knew about it for ages and other bullshit.  Bullshit not because he didn't believe it, but because it has no base to reality.
He kept talking about this, I asked for support from another owner of the server that he knows me a bit better, and he refused to take part in this.
I asked W1 if he wanted me to leave and not play there again, he said that this is exactly what he wanted and that if I would talk to him again he would ban me from playing there again...
  I left, went to the forum, posted a goodbye message, which he locked immediately.  Perhaps he didn't want to hear from people that what he did was very stupid, irrational etc etc.  Of course none would say these words since they would get banned, but you get my point.
  What a noob, nothing else.