Blah blah blah

  Crap, that's part of it anyway.  Not a good trio of days.  You know how you have a bad day or week and you just know that just around the corner, before reaching the new page, the improved story, you will feel more and more bad?  That something is bound to happen that will screw with your head just enough to think various things, including the "why me?"?  Well, this is not one of those days. The last 3 days are not like it either.  No, this is more like a huge blank.  Hmm, a chasm, a black hole only without the mass, and probably on big enough to fit me.  
Like being a nice shiny pointy, bullet.  Out of a gun, and on its way to a nice juicy tanker.  Full of, I don't know, acid?
  Three days one feeling worse than the previous one.  Nothing specificaly having happened in these three days either.  No one died.  No loss of loved ones (in all meanings), no loss of good health or money?  On day after the other like going one step after the next.  Not worrying that where it leads is probably something mildy unhappy, like say death.  No worry at all.  In fact wishing you had taken the lift.  Or to my fellow trekkies there, the turbo-lift.  Not giving a damn.  Really, not caring one bit.
  I know it is normal for anyone at one point to think of death.  Either when you are a child or much older.  We all live and die, part of who or what we are.  What worries me is not even that I wish this was a shorter trip.  What worries me is why I have reached the point of not worrying about anything, including worrying about worrying and still not care enough to worry even for that.  Funny thing, I am not worried because I would like it to change so much as because I am bored.  Not the "oh all is good but boring" kind of bored.  More like the I am tired of life, sick of everything kind of bored.  With perfect good reasoning behind it too.  Flawless logic in fact that support my less than happy thoughts.  I am not a stupid person, I am actually very clever.  Most people don't know it because I can't care enough to show any interest in most things and they take it at best as a luck of capacity at one point to if not comprehent, at least have the capacity to accept as one way or another.
  It's quite simple, if I was given the choice right now to live or die I know which I would choose.  Don't take it the wrong way though, I am not talking about committing suicide.  No, you see there is something in me, like a hunch, like a premonition that is beyond reasoning.  Yes I do appreciate the irony in it.  I am not talking about something huge like saving the world.  Something else, that just don't know.
  So, given enough good health and luck, I will stay here for a long time more than it would be perhaps logical.

I don't want to close with something as dark as the above paragraph, so I will give away a recipe.  Most of you know it already, and trust me, it is not something special.  But I do like it.

Toast of bread.
Oregano.
Salt.
Olive oil.

Make sure the slice of bread is hot, crunchy if you prefer, then add the olive oil.  About 5-10ml.  Depending on the slice of bread.  Make sure the oil is on the whole surface, add a pinch (or a tiny bit more) of oregano and some salt to make it salty, like potato crisp/chip salty.  Use a small spoon to make sure the ingredients are spread all over the bread.  Have a glass of water near you.  Eat the bread!

Till next time.  :-)